I write this post with the heaviest of hearts. Every time I hear about a man cheating on his girlfriend or wife, especially someone I know, my heart bleeds inside and I feel like crying. There’s an alarming number of women who have partners who cheat on them or engage in any other kind of emotional abuse (makes you jealous, threatens to leave you, makes you feel insignificant without him, etc.)
I hear a lot of men – and women – who say that “that’s just how men are” and “just accept it”. I find this to not only to be untrue but rather a means to perpetuate and excuse the deceitful inner voice which actually knocks on both women and men’s doors. Yes, women are also given countless opportunity to cheat on our significant other without them ever finding out, yet often they do not give in. Is it because they have a stronger “will”? Absolutely not! Surely if that were the case, then no man would be able to resist the opportunity to cheat on you? Or am I wrong? What is it that some men possess, who do not cheat and abuse, that others do not have, who do cheat and abuse?
(Before I get my head bitten off for the above comment: I am aware that women also cheat. I believe that this is in the minority though. This article focuses on the main perpetrators who are actually men.)
Back to the “that’s just how men are” mantra that’s doing its rounds…
I think that us as women need to start valuing ourselves more that what we currently do. It’s easy to blame the media but the reality is that that could be the reason why we have such low self respect. Why else would you find beautiful, strong women accepting the status quo that is their man treating them with such deceit and being ok with it? And when I say beautiful women, I don’t just mean in looks. I mean funny, bubbly, intelligent, caring women. Movies like Wolf of Wall street for instance – I didn’t enjoy it; simply because of the way that women are cast. They are not treated like queens, or respected, but rather cheated on and treated like second rate objects who exist solely for whatever a man needs. These are the kind of movies getting praised and receiving multiple awards. It’s no wonder the male psyche stinks. Just looking at the state of South Africa alone; the crime rate against women and now the increasing number of gross sexual child abuse. It’s disgusting what has become a reality in the evolution of the male psyche. Disgusting!
I would like to challenge you today, to two things:
- Value the women in your life. Value women in general. Smile and greet the women around you, strangers and friends alike.
- Kick that negative part of your life (cheating man) out! Tell him it is not ok to lie, to cheat and to deceive you. Sure, that’s just how men are… but THIS is how women should be. Strong.
Set the standards high. Set YOUR standards high.
If you have a good man, then treat him like a king. Go out of your way to make his life easy and in turn he would do the same If he doesn’t, well, then he’s not a good man). Or, he just needs a bit of motivation. Talk to him about what you expect from him and how you in turn will meet his expectations.
Before I end off… if you have no issues in your relationship and you have no reason to think that your man is cheating on you then DO NOT question him about cheating. This article is only for those women who find it difficult to stand up to a cheating man that they love. Suspicion is neither an attractive trait to have, nor a healthy habit. It will poison your relationship, especially if without cause.
PS: If you’re a mistress or a knowing “other woman”, then do yourself a favour and get out. Find a single, unattached man and have your fun there but do not be the cause of hurting another woman on the sly. It is not worth your dignity…unless you don’t have any.