Cheating men: A woman’s quick guide

 

I write this post with the heaviest of hearts. Every time I hear about a man cheating on his girlfriend or wife, especially someone I know, my heart bleeds inside and I feel like crying. There’s an alarming number of women who have partners who cheat on them or engage in any other kind of emotional abuse (makes you jealous, threatens to leave you, makes you feel insignificant without him, etc.)

 

I hear a lot of men – and women – who say that “that’s just how men are” and “just accept it”. I find this to not only to be untrue but rather a means to perpetuate and excuse the deceitful inner voice which actually knocks on both women and men’s doors. Yes, women are also given countless opportunity to cheat on our significant other without them ever finding out, yet often they do not give in. Is it because they have a stronger “will”? Absolutely not! Surely if that were the case, then no man would be able to resist the opportunity to cheat on you? Or am I wrong? What is it that some men possess, who do not cheat and abuse, that others do not have, who do cheat and abuse?

(Before I get my head bitten off for the above comment: I am aware that women also cheat. I believe that this is in the minority though. This article focuses on the main perpetrators who are actually men.)

 

image

You are strong! Yes, you!

Back to the “that’s just how men are” mantra that’s doing its rounds…

 

I think that us as women need to start valuing ourselves more that what we currently do. It’s easy to blame the media but the reality is that that could be the reason why we have such low self respect. Why else would you find beautiful, strong women accepting the status quo that is their man treating them with such deceit and being ok with it? And when I say beautiful women, I don’t just mean in looks. I mean funny, bubbly, intelligent, caring women. Movies like Wolf of Wall street for instance – I didn’t enjoy it; simply because of the way that women are cast. They are not treated like queens, or respected, but rather cheated on and treated like second rate objects who exist solely for whatever a man needs. These are the kind of movies getting praised and receiving multiple awards. It’s no wonder the male psyche stinks.  Just looking at the state of South Africa alone; the crime rate against women and now the increasing number of gross sexual child abuse. It’s disgusting what has become a reality in the evolution of the male psyche. Disgusting!

 

I would like to challenge you today, to two things:

  1. Value the women in your life. Value women in general. Smile and greet the women around you, strangers and friends alike.
  2. Kick that negative part of your life (cheating man) out! Tell him it is not ok to lie, to cheat and to deceive you. Sure, that’s just how men are… but THIS is how women should be. Strong.

 

Set the standards high. Set YOUR standards high. 

 

If you have a good man, then treat him like a king. Go out of your way to make his life easy and in turn he would do the same If he doesn’t, well, then he’s not a good man). Or, he just needs a bit of motivation. Talk to him about what you expect from him and how you in turn will meet his expectations.

 

Before I end off… if you have no issues in your relationship and you have no reason to think that your man is cheating on you then DO NOT question him about cheating. This article is only for those women who find it difficult to stand up to a cheating man that they love. Suspicion is neither an attractive trait to have, nor a healthy habit. It will poison your relationship, especially if without cause.

 

PS: If you’re a mistress or a knowing “other woman”, then do yourself a favour and get out. Find a single, unattached man and have your fun there but do not be the cause of hurting another woman on the sly. It is not worth your dignity…unless you don’t have any.

 

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Posted in Gender Matters, Men, Relationships, Toxic Judgement, Women

3 ingredient Nutella Brownie Boeka treat (30 minutes)

I hope that all my Muslim readers are having a blessed Ramadaan. I know that boeka treats are on the menu of a lot of your minds, so I wanted to share 3-ingredient Brownie recipe which I funnily enough came across on my Facebook home feed after one of my friends liked a post. I’ve actually never tried making brownies before but when I saw the “3-ingredient” part of the headline I was tempted to try it out. That, the fact that I love baking and that my boyfriend has a major sweet tooth!

The nice thing about this recipe is that it takes about 30 minutes to whip up. That’s 30 minutes total time (preparation and baking time) – Yeah Baby! Before I get started I need to credit the owner of this recipe -Jessica from  Kirbie Cravings – without whom we would not have this delicious boeka treat. If you are a Nutella freak then you should definitely head over to her  blog because she has many other quick Nutella recipes to try, and they’re print-friendly. 😉

I’m happy to report that the recipe is flop-proof and came out a huge success! See below for how they came out.

3 ingredient Nutella Brownie Boeka treat

(Pictures below)

Ingredients
  • 1 1/4 cup of Nutella
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup of cake flour
Method
  • Pre-heat oven at 280°C
  • Crack the eggs one at a time into a bowl before adding all the eggs together. This helps to avoid cracking a rotten egg and adding it to a whole bowl of eggs. Remove any blood or egg shells as you go
  • Mix all the ingredients in a bowl until a smooth batter forms
  • Grease a small square oven-proof pan
  • Pour the batter mixture into the greased oven-proof pan
  • Bake the mixture for 15 minutes in the oven (Before removing from the oven, use a cake tester to ensure that it’s been baked properly. Add 1 or 2 minutes more if the cake tester comes of wet.)
  • Once ready, take brownies out of the oven and allow to cool for a few minutes
  • Serve with topping of choice
Variation
  • The website also refers to a variation using peanut butter. I am not really a peanut butter fan but since I am not really fan of things that are to sweet, I thought that I would try peanut butter, in case the Nutella alone was too sweet.
  • For the 1 1/4 cup of Nutella only, I used half nuttella and half peanut butter (Black Cat). The peanut butter taste came out very strong, so in future for my personal taste, I will maybe use 1 cup Nutella and 1/4 cup of peanut butter. My boyfriend gave it the thumbs up though, so if you are a peanut butter fan, then I’m sure half, half mixture would suffice.

Happy baking people.

ToxicSweety over and out



Pictures: 3 ingredient Nutella Brownie Boeka treat

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (1)

3 ingredients: Nutella, Eggs and Flour

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (2)

Crack an egg into a bowl. See that floating stuff? It must come out!

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (3)

Remove the unwanted parts

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (4)

Pour the egg into a bowl

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (5)

One by one, crack eggs seperately, remove excess and pour into a bowl

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (6)

Scoop Nutella into a mixing bowl

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (7)

Don’t throw this away. Add warm milk and use as a delicious drink

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (8)

Add the eggs to the Nutella

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (9)

Then add the Flour

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (10)

Pour mixture into a greased oven-proof pan (I doubled the recipe so I am using a bigger pan)

 

Peanut Butter & Nutella Brownie Variation

Quick Nutella Peanut Butter Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (1)

Half Peanut butter and Half Nutella

Quick Nutella Peanut Butter Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (2)

Mix, Nutella/ Peanut Butter mixture with eggs and Flour

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (11)

Pour mixture into a greased oven-proof pan

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (12)

Smooth the mixture with a flat ladle as desired

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (13)

Watch through the oven door 🙂

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (14)

After 15 minutes your brownies should be ready. Use a cake tester to ensure it is ready to come out.

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (15)

Set aside to cool

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (16)

Cut squares (Ignore the giant holes. My cake tester is thick 😦 )

Quick Nutella Brownie Recipe_ToxicSweety's Pensieve_Fowzia Gamiet (17)

Enjoy. Serve with topping of choice or eat plain. Can you see the difference in colour with the Peanut Butter variation?

Original recipe can be found HERE

Thank you for reading!

Catch me online

 

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Posted in How to, Recipes, The Feel Good Section

How to get your man to toe the line | Relationship Rules

Aah, true love. Does it exist? That wonderful feeling of comfortable, blissful butterflies-in-the-stomach, joy when you think of or see “the one”. That feeling of invincibility that that joy of being around them, gives you. And not forgetting that sense of security when you know that they only have eyes for you… True laaaav.

Of course, it exists! It may take a bit longer for some of us to find but it definitely does exist.

"The Look"

“The Look”

Believe it or not, relationships are not only in large part, a power play (whether obvious to you or not) but is also a compromise. If you love power so much that you never compromise, your relationship won’t work; and of course on the flip side, vice versa. I’m sure there are the exceptions, who actually seek out someone who controls everything, or someone who is submissive to everything – I am not referring to you here.

I am someone who loves a dominant man. Dominant in knowing what he wants, is sure of himself and who is able to hold a conversation with me both intellectual and silly. Dominant in knowing when to use aggression and when to use tenderness. I am a soft-spoken person but I do have a fairly dominant personality. Don’t ask me how that is possible – it just is. I am chilled on most things and I am fairly easy going but there’s a few things in life that I stand firmly on and if those things are not adhered to, then boy oh boy, will I speak my mind. Phew, WWIII style.

There are so many articles discussing the value of compromise. Let me tell you ladies, it is true! What they don’t tell you is that if your partner lacks the ability to recognize your compromising behaviour, then your efforts are gone to shit and actually counts for nothing! Your man may very well think that what you are doing isn’t compromise, its something that they deserve. Which may very well be the case. I mean, don’t get me wrong, our partners do deserve the best; BUT, if we have to make a compromise to afford them the best, a compromise that you would ordinarily not have been comfortable doing, but are comfortable doing in this case, for him, then that changes things.

Speak up, ladies (and gents).

This is where our differences, both as humans and in gender, comes into play. No matter how in tune we are with our partners, we will never truly know what they actually think or feel all the time. We think differently, we grew up in different circumstances and we are subjected to different life tests. How can anyone know what you’re thinking or feeling…without telling them? This is the importance of communication!

"The Look"

“The Look”

Gosh! I am by far one of the most closed booked people you will find. But I have learned, not only through my own experiences, but also through that of other couples; speaking to your partner goes hand in hand with a successful relationship. There’s no two ways about it! And no escape. Trust me.

 

Just try it. If you’re having problems in your relationship where you just cant get stop arguing, where both of you are just going back and forth and in circles, take a step back… breathe… tell them how you feel. Especially the men. If you open your mouth to say what hurts you and what helps you, it opens up a whole new level of intimacy in a relationship. Super sayan level of communication equals happier couples.

So, to answer the question: “How DO you get your man to do what you want?” Well, it’s simple. Reciprocate 🙂

But don’t forget to master “The Look”. (I’ve spoken about this on Instagram). They’ll know what it means and so will you when he gives it to you. 🙂


Don’t forget to catch me on Twitter: @ToxicSweety_ and Instagram: @ToxicSweety

PS: If you add a comment please also add your blog link so that I can check your blog out.

ToxicSweety over and out

XxX

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Posted in Gender Matters, How to, Men, Relationships, That's Just Life, The Feel Good Section, Toxic Judgement, Women

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