Relationships are so complicated! We do the best we can, to make them last for as long as possible. Within the limited time that I have been gracing this planet, I have come to the realisation that every relationship goes through three standard phases. The likelihood of your friend/relationship lasting can be gauged by means of close, and honest, introspection. The three phases which I speak of, can be termed:
1. Honeymoon phase,
2. True colour phase,
3. Live or die phase.
Please note that the phases are not theoretical, it is a mere simple heuristics, which have been carefully noted, by yours truly. Pay close attention 🙂
1. The Honeymoon phase
Ah, this is the phase that we would all love to stay in, forever. It is after all, the stage whereby everything seems to go right, all the time. I mean, we all want people to think the best of us; so naturally, we tend to put our best foot forward. That degree of stubbornness we have, we hide with compromise; that degree of selfishness we have, we hide with selflessness; that degree of cruelty we have, we hide with compassion; that bit of vanity we have, we hide with modesty and that bit of greed we have, we hide by eating less. Any of this sound familiar?
2. True colour phase
This is the phase whereby our personalities are unable to maintain the appearance of the total good person that we would like our intended to think we are. Mind you, for the most part, I don’t think that putting your best foot forward can be considered as “being fake”, as some might come to think. To me, it is merely an attempt to show our best selves. Obviously there would be those who would try and abuse this i.e. a REAL faker. However, I speak not of those scoundrels here.
Anyway, getting back to true colours… Some of us have such strong personalities that we cannot help reveal ourselves. Giving in all the time, all that compromise…that’s just not ME…I mean, that’s just not US…hehe. What I’m saying is, there needs to be a balance- between the good that we are and the bad that we conceal.
Some of you might be sitting there, or standing, and thinking to yourselves: “But hey, “I’m in my honeymoon phase for years.” Well, let me tell you something people, there is no time limit on how long each phase can last. Some people can hold out for that long, hiding their true identity…Much like a psycho would. Yes, a psycho. One of my favourite series of ALL time, is a show called Dexter…some you may do well to watch it. It’s rather entertaining for some of the psychos out there… (Or maybe his is revealing a bit of my own mental state… Nah!) Anyway, the series centres around Dexter Morgan (played by Michael C. Hall) a blood spatter pattern analyst for the Miami Metro Police Department, who moonlights as a serial killer. Can you believe it??!! A SERIAL KILLER!! Before any of you put your judgmental glasses on, he only kills those whom he believes have escaped justice. So basically, he does it for the greater good. I’m not sure why I mentioned Dexter… but maybe some of you should have a look and tell me what you think.
Moving along…and back to the true colour phase…
…you will find that there are many, many, MANNNY arguments. This is the phase whereby you will find (or hope to find) your and your significant other’s, equilibrium. Your dark side, or “Dark Passenger”, as Dexter calls it (Don’t worry, no more veering off topic…although, now I see why Dexter came to mind- because of the Dark Passenger within all of us), is fighting to be seen. It’s part of you, so hiding it is in some way, unnatural. This is happening in all of us, both of us, both of you.
3. Live or die phase
The final stage, the Live or Die phase, is where we would know whether the relationship or friendship would be worthwhile to continue or not. If your personalities are incompatible, then past a certain point, you cannot argue, and your energies would be drained from your body…it would only be the SMART thing to part ways…respectfully. Smart for your mental and emotional well-being.
Likewise, on the flip side- if you managed to battle it out in the True Colour phase, baring who you are, armour down, darkness exposed, both of you, all of you…And you are still able to think to yourself, “This person, both capable of good and bad, is compatible with who I am, good and bad; because I am happy with the person that I see in them, and the person that they see in me, truthfully,” then congratulations, your friendship/ relationship has stood the test of time. Cherish it and hold onto it because one thing that is certain in this life, is that true and genuine friends are hard to find.
It should also be noted that, as mentioned earlier, there is not time stipulation as to the duration of each phase. Some go through all phases in a week (to all you one nighters)…others over years.
Ultimately, the key is to be honest with yourself..Do you REALLY want your friend/ significant other seeing your DARK PASSENGER…now? Just joking… 🙂 Bit of drama there Hehe. The question is: “Can both/ all of you be honest and brave enough to reveal yourself…?”
Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter: @ToxicSweety_
ToxicSweety over and out.
PS: For those of you who don’t know him, I have added some pictures of Dexter below. Be sure to check him out in the series “Dexter”.
|Shhh… Dark Passenger!|